I feel burning

I feel burning

There are some intense feelings of pain, abandonment, neglect and trauma that live in my body. It’s from long ago and yet there are moments when it is activated and I feel as though it’s real now. I feel hurt, I feel burning, I feel stinging and I feel very uncomfortable. And it often comes at inopportune moments – moments where I want to be more responsible and more open to my beloved. And yet, in those moments, the pain takes over and no matter what, I feel as though I am about to be abandoned all over again. So the reaction and the protection comes to take over – to “save” me from feeling the pain all over again. My mind wants to tell me it’s too hard to be in intimate relationship and deal with these parts of myself. And yet, they don’t come to the surface when I am not in relationship. When I breathe into my heart, I know this is the next layer, this is the layer that I have been hiding, despite years and years of working on myself this is the “stuff” I have not been ready to see and feel until now. And somehow, I need to walk the path gracefully. To hold my own hand whilst also holding my beloved’s hand. To know that parts of me finally feel safe to come to the surface, so maybe it’s my time! Just maybe I can be in relationship and be open and loving and allow this volcano that burns inside of me to have its way with me, but not to...
Relationship for growth

Relationship for growth

Relationship is not an end point. It is not a place to arrive at, it is a vehicle for self expression, growth, learning and understanding. Many people arrive in relationship and think that is it – that is what life is all about, and they stop growing. But that is just when things are starting to get interesting – if you allow it to be. Allow the relationship to be real, to be authentic, and it will work its magic on you. Invite fun, play, laughter and spontaneity into your relating and you will notice that your life is enhanced as a result of being shared. If we close at the point where relationship turns up, which many people do, in the contracting you miss the opportunity to truly know yourself in the mirror. Often contraction is the attempt to have things stay exactly as they are, the fear of change. But that fear of change is what will create staleness and boredom and excess familiarity in the relationship. There needs to be room for growth and room for lightness – don’t turn your relationship into hard work and analysis, and don’t forget to enjoy each other! Enjoy the alchemy of real...