I have been reading this book over the last 2 weeks.. still a few chapters to go, and recommending it to anyone who will listen to me!!
One of my clients who has experienced very significant life trauma recommended it to me and has found it useful in addressing his anxiety, combined with the work we have been doing to unravel his inner tension.
I love that this book changes the perspective on something that is commonly known by me and many in the community. We know and see that much adult illness is connected to childhood pain and trauma. What this book says is that childhood trauma is a strong indicator of illness in later life.
The correlation between adverse childhood experiences (which could be bullying at school, divorce of parents, being humiliated by parents, death of parent or significant caregiver, parents fighting and other events) and chronic illness has been studied and found to be very high.
The nervous system remains in a high alert state when stressful situations occur regularly but unpredictably. The child does not experience the return of the nervous system to full resting state.
On reading the book I scored about 3 or 4 out of 8 on the adverse childhood experiences scale. They speak about autoimmune disorders, cancers, depression and other illnesses related to this type of childhood stress. I had an autoimmune disorder in my 20s.
With all the work I have done, the disorder is no longer a part of my life. I learnt firstly how to manage the disorder naturally, but then over a longer period of time, I discovered that as I went deeper into my inner world, the flare up of the disorder ceased.
However, in the last few years, I have had a significant revisit into childhood trauma, due to other circumstances in my life. And it has brought to the surface, new layers of my healing and a new and deeper relationship with my nervous system.
This is the thing with healing and our childhood and the impact it has on us. We can never be cocky about having done our work. There may be more layers around the corner. We are human and evolving.
Our nervous systems often do the work to do the depth that it is capable of allowing at that time. But that does not mean it is complete forever. I often meet people who are adamant that they have done all their inner work and now they just want the lighter experiences or they simply want the sexual openings.
It does all go together.. healing, self-love and activation of sexual energy. For self-love and sexual energy to be sustainable, healing needs to be undertaken. There may be layers of the healing journey that are way beyond what the mind anticipates.
That was certainly the case for me. The last few years have taken me to a whole new depth of seeing and feeling childhood pain that needed to be released. I am grateful for my constant willingness to go there. I am grateful for the fire inside of me that activates and moves me towards the next experience I need, whatever it may be.
Self-love, gentleness and compassion are cornerstones to moving with the obstacles that come our way. Self-love needs to be balanced with the inner healing work.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is curious about this topic. I have a few blog posts coming soon related to these topics. And if you want to explore being witnessed and supported to work through your trauma, to move towards greater love and openings, please contact me.